If I eat...

i feel like i have lost control and the day is ruined so i may as well binge.

i dont know how to get over this mentality. i just ate a litre of yogurt.

600 calories. of YOGURT.

earlier i had noodle soup shuit and peas with hotsauce, arond 200.

so that makes this day 800. unacceptable.

yesterday i had wings ... and a brownie. to prove im not starving myself.
loadof crap that is. fuck hotsauce is good though.

so here we are hovring at 190... i feel like the fucking scale will tip now. i want to go the otherway but ive just gone and fucked this up for myself.

and i do nothing. i lay about the house thinking of food and feeling my stomach rumble. this is so bad. i need to be productive and get on with my life. im such a complete and utter failure.... lord.



no wonder he left me.

xxxox