Tuesday, January 25
stress
it's stress that will kill you.
perhaps then i should try to not stress so much but i seemingly have so much to stress about. weight, school, boys, works, life. life is what gets me.
i dont ever go to my appointments. i make them and i try, i reason with myself and say you are an adult now you have to be in charge of your own shit. except. then i back out or flat refuse to show up.
bills are another bad one. my credit is prolly such shit just because im too lazy to be like, that money in the bank needs to go here. imstead i either dont cash my cheques or i dont pay my bills or i spend money on dumb shit. like shirts for my boyfriend. cuz ill get into trouble if i buy myself anything more, but if i give him stuff bwaha im bending the rules see?
i would love so much to be an invalid, and have someone else take care of my affairs while i lay in bed devouring delicious books. or a hot bath. or out in the sun. just flopping about one place to the next with only books and black tea to sustain me.
why am i so scared, what am i even afraid of?
im already dead inside, its not like living can kill me.....
xoxo
Queenie
perhaps then i should try to not stress so much but i seemingly have so much to stress about. weight, school, boys, works, life. life is what gets me.
i dont ever go to my appointments. i make them and i try, i reason with myself and say you are an adult now you have to be in charge of your own shit. except. then i back out or flat refuse to show up.
bills are another bad one. my credit is prolly such shit just because im too lazy to be like, that money in the bank needs to go here. imstead i either dont cash my cheques or i dont pay my bills or i spend money on dumb shit. like shirts for my boyfriend. cuz ill get into trouble if i buy myself anything more, but if i give him stuff bwaha im bending the rules see?
i would love so much to be an invalid, and have someone else take care of my affairs while i lay in bed devouring delicious books. or a hot bath. or out in the sun. just flopping about one place to the next with only books and black tea to sustain me.
why am i so scared, what am i even afraid of?
im already dead inside, its not like living can kill me.....
xoxo
Queenie
Monday, January 24
thinspo post
i slept in. a fire alarm woke me up. i dont care though, staying home means i wont eat junk food. woot.
stepped on the scale, five pounds still gone. im excited. its time i think to accept this as my new weight and count it as my zero i need to work from. fpocus. must stay focused. i lost three inches off my waist!! im excited about that a lot.
anyways, thinspo time. sorry its been such a long time coming plus i hope its not too repeatative. i hafta harvest more, but its hard when roomies and boytoys are around.
stepped on the scale, five pounds still gone. im excited. its time i think to accept this as my new weight and count it as my zero i need to work from. fpocus. must stay focused. i lost three inches off my waist!! im excited about that a lot.
anyways, thinspo time. sorry its been such a long time coming plus i hope its not too repeatative. i hafta harvest more, but its hard when roomies and boytoys are around.
xoxox
Queenie
Sunday, January 23
friday and saturday and sunday.
food first.
friday
yogurt 100
nuggets 150
carrots 70
perogies (5) 250
sloppy chicken sandwich (on a kaiser) 480
-dont know so im using wendy's spicy chicken crisp-
1050
saturday
yogurt 100
bar 100
greek salad (mr greek) 400
1/2 jugo juice (strawberry one) 115
the WORST thincrust pizza ever (4 slices) 850
garlic bread (1 slice) 160
1725
umgh fail
sunday
eggs (2) 160
potato 70
ypogurtx2 70
chicken 75
1/3c macaroni 65
2tsbp alfredo sauce 20 (??? its 80 for 1/4cup. 4tbsp is 1/8c ... which would be 40... ungh)
cereal 160
620
wait i forgot cookies. 170
790 but still.
AND.
we played with the victorias secret love box lmao lmao lmao. we're such tards
i lost two more pounds this weekend.
i gave blow jobs and i dont feel like a hooker but i saw myself in the mirror during one and im like way less sexy than i feel/imagine i am when im doing such things to my boyfriend. im a fat sack.
hes proud of me though. he has no idea. im like. he is like eat 1500 cals and exercise im like oh i shoot for 900 to 1100 and i exercise and hes like good. ill help you. so. bwahah.
hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. the loss makes me not even car anymore about the nasty pizza night. woo. its all the sexercise LOL
xoxox
Queenie
friday
yogurt 100
nuggets 150
carrots 70
perogies (5) 250
sloppy chicken sandwich (on a kaiser) 480
-dont know so im using wendy's spicy chicken crisp-
1050
saturday
yogurt 100
bar 100
greek salad (mr greek) 400
1/2 jugo juice (strawberry one) 115
the WORST thincrust pizza ever (4 slices) 850
garlic bread (1 slice) 160
1725
umgh fail
sunday
eggs (2) 160
potato 70
ypogurtx2 70
chicken 75
1/3c macaroni 65
2tsbp alfredo sauce 20 (??? its 80 for 1/4cup. 4tbsp is 1/8c ... which would be 40... ungh)
cereal 160
620
wait i forgot cookies. 170
790 but still.
AND.
we played with the victorias secret love box lmao lmao lmao. we're such tards
i lost two more pounds this weekend.
i gave blow jobs and i dont feel like a hooker but i saw myself in the mirror during one and im like way less sexy than i feel/imagine i am when im doing such things to my boyfriend. im a fat sack.
hes proud of me though. he has no idea. im like. he is like eat 1500 cals and exercise im like oh i shoot for 900 to 1100 and i exercise and hes like good. ill help you. so. bwahah.
hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. the loss makes me not even car anymore about the nasty pizza night. woo. its all the sexercise LOL
xoxox
Queenie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
